Volcanoes and lentils and bunkers Oh My!
by Lozzimal
Summary: Steve is a doomsday prepper… of course he is. (If you're a prepper, all kudos to you! I can't plan into next week!)


Danny didn't notice at first, it took a couple of grocery shopping trips for him to realise something was a bit off. They normally bickered over shopping; Steve hated it with a passion and whined even more than Grace! "But why, Danno? Why do I have to come with? Why don't you just take my card and I'll help put it away when you get back?" And he tended to pout and sigh loudly and complain all the way there and all the way round. Just like Grace. Danny knew his life had reached the pinnacle when his daughter was more mature than his lover was. Goof.

But, each and every time, they came away with something the SEAL had bought from the nuclear war/zombie apocalypse/polar shift/alien invasion aisle, be it a sack of rice bigger than Danny, a can of something bigger than Grace, enough rolls of duct tape that would give McGyver a hard on and other stuff Danny couldn't identify.

When they got home the Commander would disappear into the garage with it, but whenever his partner went in there for something he could never find it. All of his questions were met with the usual, and so very annoying: "Classified, Danno, you don't need to know."

Danny did know his partner, love of his life, one and only, had issues, issues up on issues, and a huge collection of weaponry, he just hadn't thought he was a Doomsday Prepper until he watched said documentary on Nat Geo™. Then he got it, like the proverbial kick, and turned round to face him on the sofa. "You're one of those nutjobs? Really?" he demanded.

Steve, slouched in his customary spot on the sofa, arm around Danny's shoulders, studiously ignored him. Until his smaller partner climbed up onto his lap and straddled his thighs. "That's what you want all those supplies for!" the detective exclaimed with a smile. "Why you've got me buying tonnes of lentils. What are you saving for? Planet gonna get ejected from the solar system? Martian invasion?"

Steve huffed and looked up at him, he couldn't really avoid him now. "I like to be prepared," he replied, and refused to be ashamed. "We are living on a volcano in the middle of the ocean after all."

Danny couldn't argue with that one. "True," he admitted. "Very true. You don't need to remind me about that one, Babe."

"And," Steve added with a smile as he wrapped his large hands around Danny's hips. "You're buying the stuff too now," he reminded him, amused. "So you can't make too much fun of it, you're doing it too."

Danno groaned and leant forward to rest his forehead on Steve's strong shoulder. "You've ruined me," he grumbled. "You and this island have done it. You've completely pulled me into your insanity."

Steve grinned and pressed a kiss to his temple. "There, there, Danno," he consoled him and let go of a hip to pat his back. "You'll get over it, eventually."

* * *

And so it went on, Steve kept buying more and more supplies, more and more ammunition, and, a couple of times Danny spotted him taking deliveries of large box or two of MREs, and some sort of water purifier dohickey thing. But he never told Danny where he stored them, and however long and closely the detective searched he couldn't find where Steve stashed it all. At least, he thought to himself one Sunday while he watched Grace and his great Goof frolic in the ocean; they didn't have to go on 'bug out' drills. He'd watched another prepper thing, where some guy demanded his kids helped him pack their stuff into a trailer and drive for hours, in the snow, up to the top of a mountain. Or he hadn't taken Grace firearms training. Yet. And that would be over Steve's dead body, Danny had told him quite loudly, especially after the guy on the program had virtually shot his own hand off, practising.

Danny didn't believe him when Steve just shrugged and told him about the volcanoes, there was just something about his shrug and cagey look when he asked. But, he thought to himself, he didn't really mind. Whatever it was in Steve's brain that kept him stashing things, it kept him happy and hadn't taken over his life, and those were the main things. So he smiled and walked down to the beach to join them, deciding to not call him on it, too much.

* * *

Danny didn't know how much time had gone by since he'd figured it out, what actually mattered was the smug look on Steve face as he showed him the absolutely massive bunker underground, built in the grounds of his home, literally, but not directly underneath the house.

He didn't mind at all as he ushered Gracie down the stairs into the bunker, her with a packed bag slung over her shoulder, he with another two, Chin and Malia behind him with more bags. Steve was behind them all, his bags in hand and over his shoulder as he bolted the thick, heavy blast doors. He clattered down the metal stairs and then quickly shut the door at the bottom and bolted it behind him. He then turned to face his family in the space and smiled at them. "We're all locked in," he assured them and quickly put his own bags down to one side of the door. "Chin, you said you spoke to Kono?"

The older guy nodded as he took the heavy bag from Malia and put it down on the carpeted floor with his own. "She and Adam are safe in Prague," he assured him and looked around the bunker. "You've done a great job with this place, Steve," he complimented him. "I thought you would have forgotten about it."

Steve shook his head and walked over to Grace who was looking around the large space. "It's not just this room," he explained to her and put her bag down. He pointed to a doorway on the far side of the living area. "There are three separate bedrooms through there," he explained. "One's for you, its got lots of things in it I hope you like. Do you want to go check it out?"

She looked up at her father, standing behind her, and scooted off when he nodded. They both watched her go before Danny turned back to Steve who was watching him with that smug little smile on his face. "Welcome to the Bunker, Danno," he said to him, and waved a hand to encompass the space. "What do you think?"

Danny looked around and took everything in. The living area they were in was about the size of the living room of the house above, with carpets, sofas, a couple of armchairs, bookshelves and a large desk over in one corner. There was even a large entertainment system opposite the entrance they had all come down – with a massive TV bolted to the wall, a Blu Ray player and what looked like a cable or satellite box on shelves below it with loads of DVDs and such there too. There were two archways, the one Grace, followed by Malia had gone through, and one of the opposite side. Danny walked over to it and saw that the space there was a kitchen, fully stocked, even with his old coffee maker he had thought he'd lost in the move, with another door at the far end.

"That's the pantry," Steve pointed out to him, having followed him. "Where all the lentils are."

Danny turned back to him and grinned up at him. "This is just … great," he told him sincerely. "Did you do this all yourself?"

Steve flushed a little at the praise and draped his arm over his partner's shoulders. "My Dad did most of the work," he explained. "He had a few shipping containers buried next to an old war bunker his Dad had found here," he added. "It was a shell mainly, with the kitchen done when I got the house. I've just added a few things here and there."

"And the reinforced garage too?" Danno asked him dryly as he slipped his own arm around Steve's trim waist.

The Commander shrugged. "It'll keep the Camaro, Chin's bike and the Marquis safe," he explained. "The truck is under as much cover as I could get it," he added.

Danny nodded. "So," he said after a few moments of studying the space. "How long can we stay down here?"

Steve kissed his temple and smiled. "About a year," he answered. "Depending on how much you like rice and pulses of course."

Danny elbowed him in the ribs. "Chin, as the only other sensible person in the room," he asked pointedly. "How long will we have to stay down here?"

Chin shrugged, helpfully. "Depends on how long Kilauea is going to keep erupting," he replied. "She's been grumbling for months. It could be a couple of days; it could be months. And the tsunami the first explosion caused is probably not the only one." He turned to Steve. "You've got a radio down here?"

Of course Steve nodded. "And our own broadband," he confirmed, the smug expression back. "Power comes from a couple of wind turbines and solar panels hidden around the grounds. And we've got running water from a well too. As well as weapons and plenty of ammo."

Danny had to laugh and he squeezed his waist with his arm. "Come on, my SuperSEAL Survivalist," he instructed fondly. "Show me around the rest of this place, and the bedrooms. I hope there's a bathroom somewhere."

"Two," Steve assured him and lead him through into the sleeping area, responding good-naturedly to Danny's continuing comments.

Chin shook his head fondly, grabbed his and Malia's bags and followed them to go and find his wife.

End.


End file.
